7 Subtle Green Flags that Showed Me My (Now) Husband was Emotionally Available When We Were Dating

If you only look for red flags, you won't know when it's safe to trust.

Photo by Shaira Dela Peña on Unsplash

Red flags are signs of danger.

By the time I met Calvin, my husband of 7 years (in August), I was a red flag detector. I could see signs that someone wasn’t emotionally available from a mile away. I was on guard. I walked away from men at the first sign of a red flag and never looked back. Red flags are signs of danger. I was done ignoring those signs and walking into hurtful situations.

Green flags indicate safety.

At the time, however, I didn’t realize how important it was to recognize green flags, too. Green flags indicate safety. They are signs that someone is trustworthy, emotionally available, and capable of having a healthy relationship.

Green flags also show people’s character. They show when someone is thoughtful, caring, respectful, considerate, and so on. They shed light on people’s values. For example, how they view those of the opposite gender, how they respond when offended, and what they think is okay to do and not to do.

Green flags are just as important as red flags.

If you only know about red flags, you only know when to run. If you recognize green flags, you can slowly let your guard down a little at a time. As you let your guard down, you can build and deepen connection over time. Knowing about green flags allows you to build trust and determine if someone is right for you.

Just as red flags can be confusing, so can green flags.

Sometimes, green flags go unnoticed. Sometimes, green flags don’t seem green because you don’t know that what you’re seeing (or experiencing) is a good thing. And, often, green flags get dismissed because you don’t know what you’re looking for.

That’s why I’m sharing 7 green flags from when I first began dating Calvin. These were some of the signs that he was emotionally available and worth my time. I made these observations in the early stages of dating him, and they guided me forward into a healthy relationship. Hopefully, learning about these green flags will help you recognize them in people on your own dating journey: