43 Lessons from 43 Years

May is my birthday month, so I'm sharing key life lessons I've learned over the past 43 years. I hope they help you, too!

Here's an early picture of me. I don’t have many pictures from my childhood, but this one can give you an idea of my personality from an early age.

They say life begins at 40. I think that's true in many ways.  I turned 43 last week, and while life is still, well, life, it’s easier and better in ways I didn’t know it could be when I was younger. 

Here are 43 lessons I’ve learned over the past 43 years. These insights have changed the way I feel about myself and how I engage in the world. I’ve learned to create healthy relationships and to navigate life’s challenges in positive ways. Hopefully, some of these will help you, too!

1. Always trust your gut; any time you don’t is a time you’ll regret later. 
   I spent a long time ignoring my gut feelings (especially regarding dating and relationships), which means I spent a long time ignoring myself. I dismissed the part of me that was trying to guide me, protect me, and keep me safe. After getting hurt over and over again, I vowed never to ignore myself again. Now, whenever I have a feeling or hear a tiny voice deep within telling me something is off, I listen and trust it. My gut instinct is my guide. I don’t need proof beyond that feeling or voice. I trust myself without question. Each time I choose to trust my gut is an act of self-love.
   

2. I always have a choice.
   I used to make choices from a place of guilt. I used to feel bad about putting myself first. Later I’d feel resentful or blame others for pushing me into something I didn’t want to do. That doesn’t lead to healthy relationships. It doesn't lead to high self-esteem, either. Now, I know that I am in charge of my life. I may not like my choices, but I know I always have them. I know that no one else is responsible for the choices I make. As a result, I created a healthier relationship with myself and others.